, Student of human ailments and remedies Updated Feb 11
Not because they can’t regret exactly, if that was their focus, but just because that is not their focus, it is not who and what they are about. They are like people with psyches turned inside out, outward in or upside down. With a tremendous pool of self-pity, and self-concern perpetually working at their core. Imaginary self that is.
What they do however feel is:
They regret your abandoning them. They regret your slighting them. They regret your lying to them. They regret your hurting them. They regret your using them. They regret your betraying them.
Regardless of those things were just done to their imaginary dysfunctional and overactive egos, or of what they actually did to warrant it.
And it is not because they are ‘evil’, it is dysfunctional and deluded perceptions and emotions born of ignorance and blindness. Ignorance of their true nature, which was never inherently pitiful, and ignorance of their true possibilities, specifically their existential dignity, permissibility, and security. That which is opposite to the urgency, despair, and sense of lacking which is self-pity.
Like poor confused children turned desperate and needy, staring in the mirror of their own self-reflection, trying to perpetually reach to something which they already had, but have become blind to (and only the more so they focus on their self-reflection), and as such, translating all of their experiences through that same mirror which has captured, enraptured/intoxicated, trapped and alienated them from reality, their own reality and nature included.
Only once they step out of existing solely through and in their mirror, and realize and regret what they have actually been doing to themselves, their true selves, starting when they were children, could they actually start acknowledging your true self and nature and regretting what they have actually done to you.
Until then, you effectively remain nothing much more than a figment of their imagination or memory, and as such, why would they feel much regret towards that? Realistically speaking.
I know, surreal right? Yes, exactly that, sur-real, as imagination or mirrors are to reality.
It’s not an evil intent per se, nor personal to you, even though it causes very real personal hurt and harm. But rather it’s an outward in, inside out and downside up version of reality. Which naturally will twist you out of shape to the extent you believe and adhere to it.
They may not be able to see your perspective, nor reality as it is, but you might be able to gain some insight into theirs, and through it understand how the bulk of their behaviors and especially attitude and way, has nothing to do with you.
It is not you which they have discarded, nor was it you which they proclaimed to love. It was ideas and imaginations related to you which they loved and your inadvertent dispelling of those same delusions, through your just ‘realness’, which they have discarded.
Not you. Never.
It is not within their actual reach to do so, nor the true loving, nor the true discard. Not yet.
Not until they are to wake up and grow out of their self-ignorance/blindness, neediness/despair and frustration/anger.
You however, may have it within your reach to both love truly and truly discard of them and their distorted/unreal ways and view.