If I’m subservient to a narcissist and don’t question him, would he then have no reason to rage and we’d be happy or not?
The tricky thing about narcissists is that once you’re no longer being idealized, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make them happy. Not even by being the poster child for submissiveness.
The narcissist in your life may initially enjoy his newfound power over you but after a while, it would get old. At some point, after you’ve spent weeks or months catering to his every whim, accepting infidelities, and biting your tongue during his abusive rages, there would be a new reason for his wrath…this time it would be because he finds you weak and repulsive. I write about this in my article,.
Once he finds you revolting because you’ve begun to accept all manner of narcissistic abuse, his cruelty will actually get worse. Then, you would begin to dislike yourself for accepting his abuse and rages. You’d realize it was all for nothing.
No one person is so unique and special that we must throw caution to the wind and take whatever we can get. Having this mindset will eventually lead to a difficult period of self-loathing because you will have absorbed the loathing the narcissist feels towards you, plus be forced to deal your own feelings of regret and resentment towards yourself.
In spite of all the negativity you’d feel at that point, you would find it extremely hard to leave because of the deep trauma bond that will have formed.
Create and maintain your deal-breakers. Always. In all of your relationships.
If we find ourselves in relationships with liars, cheaters, addicts, or abusers, our job isn’t to get them to stop lying, cheating, drinking, or abusing us. Our job is to leave.
Founder of Let Me Reach and The New Life Academy. Author of the Kindle bestseller: