It’s hard to explain anything to someone with no point of reference.
I don’t know if it’s even possible for people who have never experienced what’s referred to as “narcissistic abuse”, to understand it. People with no point of reference regarding the dynamic of a narcissistic relationship, can’t fathom how we fell so quickly and deeply for such well-tailored charm without being suspicious, nor how we ignored all the signs screaming in our face that something wasn’t right, and then how we stayed well past when everything was all wrong. How can we explain what we don’t even understand ourselves? We don’t even have the requisite self-awareness to acknowledge our role in the downward spiral of, what we couldn’t see at the time, was a one-sided relationship. We fell in love with a self-inflicted illusion. I say “self-inflicted”, because we chose to be with someone, and chose to forgive betrayals, and chose to ignore red flags, and chose to give more chances. How does one explain that level of self-sabotage?
I had shut almost everyone out of my life, not just because it was too hard to explain I fell in love with an emotional con man, but also because I didn’t want to have to explain how the “love” I felt for him, turned out to be a maladaptive attachment? (aka trauma bond) How can I expect anyone to understand the emotional fallout of a one-sided relationship with a person who was deceptive the whole entire time, if they haven’t personally experienced a relationship with someone who has NPD?
If you don’t understand what, why, or how, no explanation will make sense. If you do know what, why, and how, you’ve most likely “been there done that”, so no explanation is needed.
*Let me add, for all those still caught out in the confusion and disappointment in the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship, self-awareness through introspection is the only way to get back your life and serenity.