Reblogged: , M.S Doctor & Physical Therapy, Emory University (2017)
Do you know why did you leave them exactly? Because they started to Devalue you, meaning that they switched their entire fake attention, affection, empathy, love, care to this new victim, once they did that you started begging, clinging, pleading for a closure or answers they never gave you that, you got them even more bored and they started to activate their defensive mechanisms since you kept asking them why, what etc, they started to manipulate you, they start to manipulate when you start to threaten their fake persona or mask meaning that when you start to search for answers, you then had enough of their lies and moved forward, because no matter how hard you tried they totally denied everything done to you, they totally lied and they never discarded, because they were gaming you from that point on, they were basically enjoying their time with the new source of supply while feeding on your innocent fuel with your reactions, you were trapped to their fuel game. Your reactions gave them power and made them feel so important.
Keep in mind, most of the victims while they are under the effect of their toxicity try to act tough and search for ways how to punish the narcissist, while he controls their whole human being, they try to revenge being harsh, telling them bad things and thinking that they have already won, this is the point where they miss everything, showing emotions, reacting only makes the Narc important they are basically falling to their own hell with their legs, it does not matter if it is a positive reaction or a negative one, the more you react, the more you play their game the more you lose, the only way out is to ignore them completely and winning the whole war, if I said winning is said doing it for yourself not to punish them, because if you try to punish them you have never won and you are still on their effect of toxicity you are still getting controlled by them.
How would they feel?
They could care less, they won’t mind if you feed them extra fuel since the new source of supply brings them exciting new fuel, meaning that if you react asking for answers, closure etc they will gladly deny everything done to you feeding on your positive or negative reaction, that would make them feel important.
They won’t beg you to stay neither leave, it’s a choice that you should take and make for yourself, they will totally deny everything leaving you hanging, it’s a game of fuel, double fuel is better than single fuel.
Always keep in mind that the Narc never loved you, so he has nothing to feel about anything, he Idealized you for a short period of time or he was obsessed with you, back in the days when you were new and exciting to him.
Idealization. A form of obsession or infatuation, it starts with the highest intensity possible and as time goes on it decreases to null, meaning that “The narcissist does not love you,but he/she loves the way that you made him/her feel about herself/himself’’
Basically they were high on your Fuel and you kept feeding them their fresh exciting fuel, meaning that you made them feel important like every new person does, now you are not exciting anymore, since he views you as a doll or a mere object, the kid who lacks Empathy views people as dolls dancing to their need, whenever they feel like they will discard and take the doll back, because the doll is their possession, will they care about the doll? Absolutely not, to care you need Empathy while they feed no Empathy to anyone including themselves because they have no idea what Empathy means, will he care about you? Absolutely not, because every doll is replaceable with a new doll, you lost your earring? Fine, you will buy another one a better one a new exciting one that you will wear for a long period of time, that’s how they roll.
Love-Something everlasting, that starts with baby steps, very slow and progresses as time goes on, you start to Empathize earning the significant others Value,Appreciation,Respect,Care,Trust and building that bond that will be an everlasting bond that will never fade, that’s what Love is something beautiful that’s the difference between Love and Idealization, that’s the difference between obsession and pure love.
Don’t forget this in life, what comes in easy and fastly it will never last for a long period of time, what is to good to be true will always remain to good to be true, no matter what happens no matter the circumstances, for a good thing to happen you need time and you need patience, you need to suffer that darkness so you can reach that light at the end of the tunnel.
You can’t really recover if you keep following what he does, where he is at, or what he thinks, the only way to beat an addiction is to stay away from it. Why? Because that addiction used to control your:Thoughts,Emotions,Mindset and your whole Human being, you were controlled by that toxic substance, that’s why millions of people to fight addiction advice you to stay away from it and get yourself far away from it ASAP, the less that you interact with the addiction the more success you will have in your recovery, you can’t quit drugs when you have the drugs sitting on your table, you have to distance yourself from them.
Learn something from this message and grow as a human being.
‘’Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance you need to keep moving forward’’